No gay shit. (Some exceptions): Archive

 walks into a chair
me: sorry
chair: 

Dec 31st

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Dec 31st

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Dec 30th

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Dec 30th

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Dec 30th

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Dec 30th

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Dec 30th

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Dec 29th

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Dec 29th

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Dec 29th

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sylvester-calzone: finally told my parents they’re gay

Dec 29th

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Dec 29th

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niggerorfag: wowblackmormon: putting nigger or fag in your url is like not funny at all please try again wow fuck you

Dec 29th

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Dec 29th

33 notes

I don't really post anything of my own on here any...

but I do you people the favor of removing the endless replies of “LOL” and “lmao” that follow every remotely funny post.

Dec 29th

22,535 notes

Dec 29th

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Dec 28th

7 notes

Dec 27th

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"Jewslayer" is a taken url.

And it’s one of those blank ones. I’ve never been more upset.

Dec 27th

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Dec 27th

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Dec 27th

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Dec 27th

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when a girl wants to kiss you: she plays with her hair, looks down, fiddles with her fingers, and waits for you to make a move
when a boy wants to kiss you: smiles nervously, tilts his head slightly, and waits for the right moment to make a move
when I want to kiss you: I look at you from 5 miles away, stalk through your facebook and start sobbing about how ill never have you and that I'll die with 80 cats, approximately

Dec 27th

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Dec 27th

13,386 notes

 (dorothy oils the tin man)
dorothy: well, you're perfect now.
tin man: my neck...
dorothy: what?
tin man: my back...lick my pussy and my crack.

Dec 27th

58 notes

Dec 26th

125,505 notes

africans: bad ways to start a conversation so i saw a pretty funny rage comic today so i was just leaving my kkk meeting so i was cleaning the poop off my chest so i was making out with my dad the other day I’d rather discuss the last 3.

Dec 26th

488 notes

god: sit down
stephen hawking: ight
god: forever
stephen hawking: :/ bruh

Dec 26th

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Dec 26th

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Dec 26th

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Dec 26th

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Dec 26th

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Dec 25th

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Dec 25th

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Dec 24th

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tourist: could you give us directions to Olive Garden?
new yorker: no, but i could give you directions to an actual Italian restaurant lol
tourist: oh you think your clever???
new yorker: what
tourist: i'm going to meet my dying neice and she happens to love olive garden so her whole family is going to eat with her so she'll have a few moments of happiness
new yorker: oh... oh god i'm so sor
tourist: no shut the fuck up you piece of shit. i'll find it myself
 the tourist drives off and the new yorker is left to think about his life choices and his decision to be a giant condescending asshole

Dec 24th

19,200 notes